Blockbuster Pre-Think

There's simply no natural reason to be blindsided by the movies. Not with this much buzz. And while the buzz is rationed by astroturfing marketeers, that's no reason to not pre-think your ticket dollars. Not when I'm here to filter out the false claims of disreputable showmen. If you are one of the shrinking pool of picture-show enthusiasts who are able to outclass 90% of the theater experience at home using less than $2,000 US dollars, yet still leave your house on opening night, then bless your tiny little soul. You are the reason that studios even bother distributing at all. If they thought they could make a few more points, they'd bulldoze the cinemas and toss everything on some drm pay-per-stream servers. Your children wouldn't know what popcorn was, and as the glacier melt rises to the level of your wall-mounted lcd, the last known print of Citizen Kane will fall into the hands of some anarchic Luddite band of post-apoc jerks, who will burn it to fuel their terrible battle cars.